Are you letting age hold you back?
She looked at me and said,
“Aren’t you too young to be a coach?”
I could feel myself slightly taken aback, warmth rushing to my face and ears.
I composed myself, smiled and said,
“Haha, indeed. I am quite young. Though, I am not new to doing this. I have been coaching and facilitating training since 2016. Would you still like to proceed with a chat with me?”
Well, I am not THAT young. I am 35 years old.
I felt the urge to over-explain that I have had more than a decade of corporate working experience, held senior leadership roles, had been in coaching/training for almost 10 years, bla bla bla to try to prove my credibility.
Yet I didn’t.
In her eyes, I am young and there’s no need to deny that.
She is in her 60s.
She was surprised because she came to me from a referral and had never met me before.
If I was my past self, I would feel very triggered.
I would feel ashamed, nervous, and defensive.
This time, although I was a bit taken aback by that statement, I was much more at ease compared to last time.
I am going to focus on doing a good job than trying to impress everyone I come by.
Doing a good job – within my control.
Their judgment – not within my control.
I am accepting that I am not going to meet everyone’s expectations.
Different people resonate with different coaches!
It’s beyond good or bad, it’s also about the “fit”.
There are people who trust my experience and appreciate my coaching.
For those who don’t, I am not for them.
There is no end if I try to be the best fit for everyone, regardless.
Also, I am learning to stop thinking about me being “too young” or “too old” as a barrier.
Throughout my 20s, I worried about being “too young”.
I started work when I was 21 years old and independently leading national key accounts by 23 years old.
I was afraid that I was “too young” to become the Head of Trade Marketing at 29 years old. Some of my team members were 10-20 years older than me.
Contrary to most people who were shy to reveal their age because they didn’t want to appear old, I was afraid that others think I was too young in the corporate world.
I did not want others to jump to the conclusion that I was not capable or inexperienced just because of my age.
The irony came when I wanted to switch career paths, I wondered, am I being “too old” to do so?
There's really no best time to start what you want to start!
Starting in your 20s – you’re too young and inexperienced.
Starting in your 30s – you’re now on an accelerated career path, perhaps just stay focused.
Starting in your 40s – you feel that you’re too old to learn new things and compete with others who are already in the industry for 10 years.
Experience is earned.
I may be “too young” to some, “too old” to some but that doesn't matter.
What matters is that I am taking steps to keep honing my skills and gain experience.
Back to the story, we spent an hour together to clarify her challenges and what support would be helpful for her.
When the session ended, she expressed appreciation for the insights she gained and the relief she felt.
Although we did not proceed to work together on a coaching program as coach and coachee after that, I felt good.
I was genuine and present.
I may not be THE coach for her and that’s okay.
All I know is, as long as I am authentic in my sharing, coaching, and learning, there are people benefiting from my service.
Not everyone will, though.
That’s why we see so many different brands, products, and service offerings in the market– they are made for different people and needs.
Remember that you can never please everyone.
Give yourself the permission and freedom to start honing the skills or experience you desire!
It’s never too early or too late.
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